I am an Illustrator and an Introvert, and I am going to change the world.
(I mean, maybe…can I have a nap first? But my point is, I could, if I wanted – exactly as I am.)

For me, being an Illustrator and an introvert goes hand in hand. During my university degree, I would, yes, participate (a word that induces trauma – add audience to the front of it and I am in a full-blown panic attack) in discussions and lectures. But given the choice I would instead have preferred to hibernate in a room full of my ideas and artwork, where snacks are in constant supply and Stephen Fry is reading Harry Potter books over the airwaves.

Anyway, I am an introvert and I think that means different things to different people. Frequently, it gets mistaken as quiet and interpreted as the only thing that identifies me.

But what else identifies me and I believe all introverts:
• We are self-aware
• We are the same but a different colour of ‘extroverts’
• We recognise how we have grown
• We have a strong voice

Self-Awareness

The Latin origin of the word – introvertere – intro = to the inside, and vertere = to turn. It translates as to turn to the inside, to turn to one’s thoughts, to turn one’s thoughts inwards.

I think this has two possible roads. To turn one’s thoughts inwards can be damaging. It implies, to me, that we are living an insular life and not sharing ourselves with others. We can and should learn from others and we should share our burdens with others for deeper connections and our own mental relief.

However, to turn to the inside is also a beautiful and world-enhancing habit that perhaps we all should cultivate. To be aware of one’s own thoughts, to recognise them, to acknowledge and validate them is crucial for our well-being and we can begin to understand ourselves and the people around us better. To be thoughtful and in tune with this skill is something that I would happily see more of in the world – time taken over responses and reactions, quieter people appreciating who they are and what they can bring to the party that is life, to be self-aware and empathetic to our emotions.

We are the same as you – we just come in a different colour

The word introvert can sometimes be wrongly mistaken for someone who lacks confidence and is insecure. Don’t get me wrong, I will take the titles of introvert, under-confident and insecure upon myself – I see all those things in me – but I also see a quiet confidence. And I also see extroverts who cover up their own insecurities by being the loudest or biggest personality in the room. I think we all have strong days and fragile days – the reasons for them may be different and the way we show them or deal with them may be different, but they are there all the same.

I can only write authentically about my own experience and I would never describe myself as an extrovert. I am, however, ‘louder’ with my closest family and friends. And there is something important in that – choosing who you display your whole self to. This advice should be taken with caution – you are a gift and you should not prevent anyone from finding that out about you but you are a gift, you deserve to be received with care and gratefulness so only give your full self to people who will celebrate you as they should. Never undervalue your own worth and whatever colour it comes in.

Everyone Evolves – and when you do, it is worth sitting up and noticing

I read ‘Quiet’ by Susan Cain (a brilliant, life-changing book) and loved this line ‘Finnish joke: How can you tell if a Finn likes you? He’s staring at your shoes instead of his own’ (p.14).

I always used to joke that you could find out who my school-time crushes were by asking me the colour of their eyes. I would confidently be able to answer the colour of my classmate’s eyes if that was all they were to be – a classmate or friend. If I was crushing on them, I could not confidently answer what colour their eyes were because I could not look them in the face for fear that my feelings would be shown across my face. This is totally different now. I can confidently and delightfully tell you that my crush’s eyes are the colour of caramel chocolate and I know this because I look into his face hoping to show all of my feelings for him across every part of my face.

We have grown. We spent time quietly observing, coming across as shy but what I was doing was figuring out who I wanted to be. I was processing everything I saw around me until I knew the parts of me that were brilliant and the parts of me that I took the time to grow so that when those caramel chocolate eyes looked at me, I could look straight back. Wanting him to see all of me and wanting to see all of him. That is how I knew I had grown and that I had found something special.

Finding Your Own Voice – we have had more time to develop it

One of my teachers at sixth-form college told my parents that he would be happy if I got up on the table and shouted if it meant that I was speaking more in class. That very same class is where if I felt I wanted to ask a question or raise an observation, my heart would pound at just the thought of raising my hand. I would tell myself to calm down – if it freaks you out that much, Becky dearest, you just will not put your hand up. It is not that important. And then as my heart restored to a normal rhythm, with reassuring words sweeping through my mind, I would leap my hand up into the air. I would trick myself into a calm sense of security and then take that opportunity to be able to ask my question. Something about that makes me sound slightly unhinged but it worked!! And I think it illustrates how the way that society or education wants you to perform is not necessarily celebrating who individuals are. I would have preferred to have submitted my comments or questions via written notes that perhaps could have been shared by a chosen spokesperson. (I am sure that lots of teachers would have enjoyed the extra paperwork and time that would go into this method!!)

Now, in training sessions, I am still a quieter member of the group. I will be deeply disturbed if you ask me to participate in an ice breaker. But I will also ask the questions I want to. I am the girl who listens, takes notes and wants the full story and the answers. These questions come from having listened in the first place. I am not afraid to ask but I only will if necessary. I seize the moments to contribute better than I once did.

We are all brilliant – we can all change the world

That book I mentioned earlier – ‘Quiet’ – it sums it up pretty well ‘The trick is not to amass all the different kinds of available power, but to use well the kind you’ve been granted’ (p.266).

My power? It is a quiet confidence and I am quite handy when presented with a sketchbook, a fine-liner and a beautiful building.

I forget sometimes and become frustrated about who I am, but it is so powerful to be quietly confident. To be quiet. Some of the people I love and admire the most are the most quietly spoken humans I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.

And the drawing bit…well if that is a super-power, I’ve been given then I’m trying to use it for good. To tell you and help you tell others that:

We should be so proud of who we are. Whether we are loud, quiet, or sometimes both, we all have stories to tell and gifts to give. We should build each other up, celebrate our differences and encourage one another.

I am proud of you for quietly getting on, for knowing who you are, for being loud about what’s important and for knowing you are not alone.

Love, Becky x

www.beckyleesillustration.co.uk
These are my own thoughts and ponderings and illustrations.

I run an Illustration business which celebrates the power of a smile, honesty always, a little bit of magic and encouragement. If you want to hear more or get involved, let me know: